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Managing Anger

    Do you feel like you are easy to anger or when you become angry it seems to consume you? If so, you must work on managing your anger so that it no longer robs you of the opportunity to feel peaceful. What can you do for managing anger? Firstly, you must develop the awareness to notice when you start feeling angry. Use this awareness as an opportunity to take a pause and reflect on why you are really feeling angry.  Secondly, decide how you choose to express yourself.  It may be beneficial to not express yourself at all during a heated emotional state and wait to feel calmer. If you are reactionary, you may find that you cause more problems than you started with and later regret your actions. If you decide it is necessary to express yourself now first reflect on your message before you deliver it. Be mindful of your tone and try to express things from your perspective rather than telling someone what they did or did not do. Communication is more constructive when we do not speak for someone else and share our feelings which allows us to come from a place of vulnerability. People generally respond better to this type of dialogue. Sometimes we are trying to be heard or create justice for ourselves or another. While this may be a good intention, ask yourself if your angry message is going to create any positive effect. If you decide not, then consider the cost to you. It may only drain your energy and leave you feeling disappointed because your expectations of what you felt you could accomplish are not realistic. Instead, find a way to get rid of the anger on your own. You can journal your emotions, throw a safe object, scream into a pillow, or visualize the person or situation that caused your angry and speak to your visualization. Realize that when we stay stuck in anger it allows the person or events that caused our anger to have power and control over us.  Thus, the cliche, “holding onto anger is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die!”

    If you or someone you know is looking for help managing anger, please contact me to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.